(Qur’an al-Baqarah 2:183)
Muslims all over the world are enjoying this Ramadan with unprecedented motivation and high hopes to do many things and to get the maximum of this holy month.
However, intentions are not enough!
Achieving what you want in Ramadhan is strongly related to time management and realistic plans.
Women have more duties in Ramadhan, especially if they are working, however, they still have several opportunities for getting rewards, which makes it even more important for them to arrange and coordinate diversity of activities only in one month.
Charity is a widely open door in which women can participate by different ways. Cooking food for needy people, collecting money from relatives and friends for charitable reasons, among other activities.
Women have also a very important and crucial role in helping their children understand what Ramadan is all about, and in organizing activities and entertaining activities relevant to the holy month.
Ramadan is considered an excellent opportunity for kids to live 30 days in a comprehensive experience that includes fasting, praying, playing, and helping others either physically or financially.
Time management is not only how you manage your time in Ramadan, but extends to how you manage to decrease your tasks and duties during the holy month.
Everyone has different priorities, abilities, and circumstances, nevertheless, you can tailor the following tips to your life style.
Pray that Allah grants you Baraka in your time.
As the beautiful month of Ramadan get on this year, there are several things Muslim women can do to prepare themselves spiritually and physically for the month-long period of fasting which is obligatory upon all able-bodied Muslims who have reached the age of maturity.
Giving some thought to the unique concerns that Muslim women face during this month can help us prepare for them and make the month a more successful one. This is especially true for new converts to Islam (because Ramadan is such a new experience) and for married women in general because of the extra responsibility they typically have to make sure that the iftar (the fast-breaking meal served at sunset each day) is ready on time for their families and any guests in addition to continuing to take care of the home, children and other obligations as usual. It is crucial, then, that women take the time to plan for their sleep, health and other concerns before the month even starts.
It is recommended for Muslims to eat a pre-dawn meal (called sahoor in Arabic) each day before the fast begins. The Prophet, may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, is reported by Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) to have said,
"Eat a pre-dawn meal for there are blessings in it." (Bukhari and Muslim)
Other traditions report the Prophet (peace be upon him) as saying,
"You should eat [the] pre-dawn meal for it is a blessed nourishment" (an-Nasa'i),
and
"The pre-dawn meal is blessed so do not neglect it even if you only take a sip of water. Verily, Allah and His angels pray for those who have pre-dawn meals." (Ahmad)
The pre-dawn meal provides energy and other benefits to the fasting Muslim during the day so it makes good sense to plan on getting up early to have sahoor. Of course this is better accomplished if you also sleep early so try to think about how you will arrange your schedule once Ramadan begins. If you typically have trouble waking up for the fajr (dawn) prayer, a new schedule in Ramadan may be the motivation you need to change your habits for the better even after Ramadan has ended. Ramadan is a great opportunity that comes once a year to renew your relationship and commitment to Allah
If you are accustomed to drinking tea or coffee in the morning or during the day, be aware that caffeine withdrawal can cause severe headaches while you are fasting. Take some time before Ramadan to wean yourself from caffeine (perhaps gradually) and decide whether it will be necessary to have any caffeine during the non-fasting hours in Ramadan. It may seem like a funny thing to worry about compared to the greatness of this Holy Month but many Muslims have experienced the phenomena of caffeine withdrawal and know to prepare themselves ahead of time to ensure they do not get sick from it.
Women should also know the times that they are prohibited from fasting, such as when they are menstruating or bleeding after childbirth.
Pregnant and breastfeeding women have special permission not to fast during Ramadan if they feel that they or their babies will be harmed by it, but they are not prohibited from fasting if they feel they can handle it. This is something best discussed with a doctor and depends on each woman's unique circumstances. However, it is very important that pregnant and breastfeeding women take care to eat properly during non-fasting hours if they choose to fast. It is also important that women do not feel any shame or guilt in breaking the fast if they feel they must; no one has the right to put pressure on the pregnant or breastfeeding woman to exceed her body's limits. In fact this allowance not to fast should be considered a mercy from Allah and not a punishment.
Likewise, women should not fast just because they do not want to have to make their fasts up later: health should be the prime consideration in deciding whether or not to fast. Take the fast one day at a time: it is not a competition with others but an act of worship for the sake of Allah Most High.
Of course women who are ill or must take medications during the day need to consult their doctors in order to see if it will be possible for them to fast and to change the schedule of their medications. Discuss the issue with a sheikh if you are not sure about your situation.
Whether a woman misses days of fasting due to menstruation, childbirth, pregnancy, breastfeeding or illness, these missed days should be made up before the next Ramadan comes. Insha’Allah. Depending on her circumstances and on different schools of thought, making up the fast may be as simple as fasting one day for each day missed during Ramadan, or it may require that she feeds one poor person each day either in addition to, or in place of, fasting herself. Women should consult reliable books or scholars to understand their obligations in this regard. Fiqh us-Sunnah by As-Sayyid Sabiq is an excellent source of reliable information on how to make up missed days of fasting.
Understanding and respecting your body's physical needs and limits during Ramadan will help you to have more energy for taking care of your home, family and other responsibilities
Spiritual preparation is also something that needs to be done before Ramadan comes around – it might seem silly really when you consider we should be spiritually “in tune” 12 months a year. We all seem to get caught up with our hectic schedules and all of a sudden you hear Muslims say: “oh no” Ramadan is in 2 weeks and its “panic time”! Some women busy themselves with spring-cleaning their homes but often we forget to warm up and fine-tune our selves in readiness for this mighty month
Cleanliness - Whenever a guest comes, we prepare in advance for his arrival by vacuuming the carpet, dusting the shelves, and scrubbing the sinks. We should do this for our guest called Ramadan. But the scrubbing should not just be of our physical surroundings; it should include the scrubbing of our sins.
Listen to the words of our Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), speaking about those people that don't want to clean up for Ramadan,
"Whoever doesn't desist from speaking falsehood and acting upon it, Allah has no need that he desist from his food and drink." (Bukhari)
Fasting in Sha'baan - The biggest downfall of many Muslims is that they are not properly warmed up for Fasting, some people only do it once a year making their bodies very foreign to going without food and drink.
From here we see the following Sunnah: Umm Al-Mu'mineen Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her)- observes, "Allah's Messenger never fasted an entire month other than Ramadan and I haven't seen him fast more than he did in Sha'baan."
This is a good way to prepare for Ramadan by fasting in the moth before. The Prophet (saws) also fasted Monday and Thursdays every week. We should make fasting something we do all year round not just in Ramadan so it becomes second nature to us.
As for the Prophet (peace be upon him), he used to give glad tidings to his Companions of the coming of Ramadan, like what is narrated from Imam Ahmad and An-Nisaai from the hadeeth of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with them), who said: “Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him) said to his Companions,
‘The month of Ramadan has come, the blessed month wherein Allah has made fasting binding on you. In it, the gates of Paradise are opened, and in it, the gates of Hell are locked, and the devils are enchained. In it is the beneficent night of a thousand months (i.e. Laylat ul-Qadr). Whoever denies goodness in it has indeed been deprived.’
Ma’la Ibn al-Fadhl said about the Salaf (the pious predecessors): “They used to call upon Allah for six months until Ramadan reached them, then they would call on Him the other six months that Allah may accept it from them.” And Yahya Ibn Abee Katheer said, “Their supplication used to be,
‘O Allah, keep me safe until Ramadan, and make Ramadan faultless for me, and secure it for me as an accepted (month of virtue).’”
The early generations of the Ummah used to make Du'a 6 months after Ramadan that Allah accept their deeds in Ramadan. And for the next 6 months, they would make du'a to Allah to grant them the blessing of being alive in the coming Ramadan.
Some of the many important lessons we learn from Ramadan are:
★ Developing Taqwa
Fasting has been legislated in order that we may gain taqwa, as Allah – the Most High – said:
"O you who believe! Fasting is prescribed for you, as it was prescribed upon those before you in order that you may attain taqwa." [Qur’an al-Baqarah 2:183]
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: "Fasting is a shield with which the servant protects himself from the Fire." (Hasan: Ahmad, authenticated by al-Albani in Saheeh ut-Targheeb)
So we should ask ourselves, after each day of fasting: Has this fasting made us more fearful and obedient to Allah? Has it aided us in distancing ourselves from sins and disobedience?
v Seeking Nearness to Allah
"Whosoever reaches the month of Ramadan and does not have his sins forgiven, and so enters the fire, then may Allah distance him." (Ahmad and al-Bayhaqee)
★ Acquiring Patience
What is meant by the month of Patience is the month of Ramadan …so fasting is called patience because it restrains the soul from eating drinking, conjugal relations and sexual desires." (At-Tamheed of Al Haafidh ibn Abdul Barr)
The Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
"O youths! Whoever amongst you is able to marry, then let him do so; for it restrains the eyes and protects the private parts. But whoever is unable, then let him fast, because it will be a shield for him." (At-Tamheed of Al Haafidh ibn Abdul Barr)
So fasting is a means of learning self-restraint and patience. With patience we are able to strengthen our resolve to worship Allah alone, with sincerity, and also cope with life’s ups and downs. So – for example – with patience we are able to perform our Prayers calmly and correctly, without being hasty, and without merely pecking the ground several times!
With patience we are able to restrain our souls from greed and stinginess and thus give part of our surplus wealth in Zakaah (obligatory charity). With patience we are able to subdue the soul’s ill temperament, and thus endure the ordeal and hardships of Hajj, without losing tempers and behaving badly. Likewise, with patience we are able to stand firm and fight Jihad against the disbelievers, hypocrites and heretics – withstanding their constant onslaught, without wavering and buckling, without despairing or being complacent, and without becoming hasty and impatient at the first sings of hardship. Allah – the Most High – said:
"O Prophet, urge the Believers to fight … So if there are one hundred who are patient, they shall overcome two hundred; and if there be one thousand, they shall overcome two thousand, by the permission of Allah. And Allah is with the patient ones." [Qur’an al-Anfaal 8:65-66].
Thus, without knowledge and patience, nothing remains, except zeal and uncontrolled emotions, shouts and hollow slogans, speech that does not strengthen, but rather weakness, and actions that do not build, but rather destroy! So in this month, we should strive to develop a firm resolve for doing acts of obedience, and to adorn ourselves with patience – having certainty in the saying of our Messenger sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam: "And know that victory comes with patience, relief with affliction, and ease with hardship." ( Saheeh: Ahmad, at-Tabaraanee in al-Kabeer, authenticated by al-Hilaalee in as-Sabrul Jameel)
★ Cultivating Good Manners
Fasting is not merely abstaining from eating and drinking. Rather, it is also abstaining from ignorant and indecent speech. So if anyone abuses or behaves ignorantly with you, then say: I am fasting, I am fasting." (Saheeh: Ibn Khuzaymah and al-Haakim, who authenticated it.
★Sensing Muslim Unity
As Muslims from all around the world commence Ramadan we realise that we are part of a community our hearts and actions united in pursuing Allah’s pleasure. There are many ahadith mentioning the blessings of breaking the fast together and there is also much reward in feeding a fasting person. So let us unite in this month of Mercy.
So Ramadan – it is that light in the souls of the righteous and the truthful, and in the hearts of the devout and sincere it gives happiness; for it is the month of obedience, and in it there are beautiful reflections for us all. Indeed, it grants victory to the soul over the body and flesh and gives us a wonderful opportunity to straighten ourselves up with our Lord.
During this month of Sha’baan we should find out more about the traditions of the prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) related to Ramadan and make a sincere effort to implement them this year. We should also try to purify our hearts and intentions before the commencement of Ramadan to make this fast successful for our families and ourselves. Insha’Allah
Ramadan is also an opportunity to renew relationships that may have been broken during the year and we should try and clear up any disputes or bad feelings with other Muslims so we may start this month a fresh.
Don't go to one of the extremes; don't put very high expectations that you are unlikely to make, be always sure you are not a superwoman (no one actually is). You are not helpless as well, you can achieve a lot if you put realistic plan that goes along with your abilities, responsibilities, and circumstances.
Make it simple, don't overwhelm yourself with lists of food items you should prepare everyday on Iftar, just make sure meals are nutritious and have all necessary elements.
Get your kitchen prepared; prepare different ingredients for meals before Ramadan, so that in Ramadan, you just do the final steps.
For example, prepare in your fridge a good amount of onions, garlic, and tomato sauce.
Get meat and chicken washed and spiced.
Prepare some homemade drinks like hibiscus, and leave them in the fridge.
Keep your home organized; this way you can get things easier and save time of searching for items.
Set your priorities; Put your plan starting with basic tasks followed by less important to 'you'.
Don't schedule what you think less prior, just focus on more important things and get them done efficiently.
Put a schedule to your appointments and visits; avoid unnecessary outings, and put definite dates and times if you can.
Make it clear to your family and friends that Ramadan is a very special time to you and that you'd rather give more time to prayers and related activities and you can postpone gatherings and errands and do it afterwards.
Be smart when you invite; inviting guests to Iftar no doubt has a great thawab, and spread happiness to both you and your guests, and it can be a great load as well, unless you have a good plan for it.
Cook simple meals that do not need much time or effort. Prepare some or most of the dishes one day before if you can, so you don't have all the work on the same day.
Get someone to help you with preparing, lifting, and washing the dishes if feasible, and if you have kids, let them help you as well.
Dish parties are an excellent choice in this case, where everyone gets a dish and you all share cooking and you also share thawab.
Make a checklist in which you put basic duties as well as extra activities, and make one for each child, this will act as a good reminder as well as an alert if you put too much or too less tasks.
Don't say tomorrow, if you have a task, do it immediately, this will even give you a push to do more.
Take some rest; enough sleeping hours are very important for you to be able to complete the whole month with the same pace.
Eat well; healthy food will give you the energy to work, pray, and do all your duties.
Avoid eating junk food and food with big amount of fats as much as you can, this kind of diet will make you more sleepy and lazy in addition to its health hazards.
After managing your time a way or another, help others to do the same, especially family members.
Exercise; many people think Ramadan is absolutely the wrong time to exercise, this is not true. You can have few minutes of stretching or any kind of work outs that makes your body stronger and make you feel better.
For Working Women:
Needless to say that working women have a harder job that need more care and control.
The good news however, is that working women are mostly used to time management, checklists, and arranging tasks beforehand.
Working efficiently is an important gate to Paradise, so be always sure that you are doing a great job which will essentially reflect on your psychology in a positive way.
Set your schedule carefully, according to your working hours so that you have adequate time to sleep, work, and good time to spend with your family.
Make use of the time of breaks and transportation in reading Qur'an and Dhikr.
Help your Muslim colleagues make the most of the holy month by exchanging information, and encouraging each other.
Get your family involved; you can get the help of your family members in household responsibilities.
You should always know that time management is not a tool for more duties to accomplish. It's rather a system that helps you having a clear vision of what you want to do, identify your responsibilities, feel productive, which will finally grant you control over your life with a sense of empowerment.
Preparing the family for the new spirit of Ramadan is more of the wife’s duty. Muslim women therefore need to be adequately prepared for the spiritual exercise. As a woman at home, you have to buy all the necessary things for the month before the first of Ramadan. This will enable you to spend less time during the holy month rushing around. It will also help you to be focused on your religious activities and spiritual development.
Remember that everyone in the family, even the kids, can participate; so, preparing them psychologically and physically for the period of fasting is your duty as a woman. You need to plan ahead in order not to lose the balance between your responsibility as a woman at home and your religious duties such as reading Quran, salat, qiyamu-lail and others.
You may have to also prepare some meals ready to be stored in the freezer. You can chop onions, vegetables and store them in the freezer to have them ready when cooking during Ramadan. You may also soak maize or millet for pap and store them in the freezer, this way, you will save yourself a lot of efforts in getting them done during the month
If you have bad sleeping habit, start readjusting now so that you can wake up to prepare sahur for your family. For women who are fasting, that can mean long hours preparing meals. Some also have to feed children who are not fasting while avoiding food themselves. All these can be very challenging for women if not adequately planned for.
Ramadan is a great opportunity to share specifically, its values of spirituality, generosity and kindness with others, especially your neighbours. It’s a great time to invite people for iftar. If you are planning to invite guests for Iftar, the best time to do that is during your monthly period (menstruation).
This is because you will not only be ready to taste the food that is going to be served, you will also have more time for cooking since you will not be engaged in some acts of worship. Be sure to invite Muslim family and friends including neighbours.
There are clear exemptions in Islam from fasting in Ramadan for those that are rattled by illness, pregnant women, and breastfeeding mothers. Although some nursing mothers, sick and pregnant women, still observe their fasts because of confluence of social, religious, and cultural factors. It is in order to the extent that there is no harm done by fasting. Otherwise it can be suspended and paid back at a later date.
A question was sent in by a Muslim on this issue, the answer to this will also help other Muslim nursing mothers or heavily pregnant women.
Question:
My wife has just put to bed and she is presently nursing our newborn baby. She is unable to fast and breastfeed at the same time. Does she really have to make up all those days later on? Can’t she just expiate for the missed days by feeding a poor person for each missed day?
A nursing mother who finds fasting in Ramadan difficult for her is fully within her rights to abstain from fasting.
A pregnant woman and a nursing mother, if they break their fasts on account of their condition, take the same ruling as those who break their fasts because they are ill or on a journey. This means that they must make up the missed fasts at a later date, when doing so becomes easy for them.
There have been a few scholars who held the opinion that pregnant women and nursing mothers can simply opt to expiate for the missed days by feeding a poor person for each day missed. However, this opinion is not a strong one.
The correct ruling is that these women have to make up the fasts that they miss. Allah says: “Whoever among you who is ill or on a journey should fast a number of other days.” [Sûrah al-Baqarah: 184]
The application of this ruling to pregnant women and nursing mothers is made clear in the following hadîth.
Anas b. Mâlik relates that the Prophet (s.a.w) said: “Allah has excused the traveler from the obligation to fast and from half the units of his prayer. He has excused the pregnant woman and the nursing mother from fasting.” [Sunan al-Tirmidhî (715), Sunan Abî Dâwûd (2408), and Sunan Ibn Mâjah (1667)]
This indicates to us that the ruling for the traveler being excused from fasting is the same as that of a nursing mother. Since the traveler must make up his fast later on, so must the nursing mother.
And Allah knows best.
So we ask Allah to grant us the ability to change ourselves for the better, during this blessed month, and not to be of those who are prevented from His Mercy and Forgiveness. Indeed He is the One who Hears and He is the One to Respond.
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