Force Marriage
Marriage is a sacred bond between a man and woman, which makes each other permissible for them to enjoy and live happily. Allah has described, in the most moving and eloquent terms, this eternal, natural relationship between man and woman, which is filled with security, love, understanding and compassion:
“And among His signs is this that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your hearts: Verily in that are signs for those who reflect. (Quran 30:21)
Marriage is also an important part of the Sunnah. The Messenger of Allah (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) said: “The Nikah is my Sunnah (way), whosoever leaves my Sunnah is not from amongst me” (Kitabus Sunan – Mishkat)
The Prophet of Allah (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) has also said as narrated by Ibn Masud (May Allah be pleased with him)
“Young men, those of you who can support a wife should marry, for it keeps you from looking at non permissible females and protects you from immorality. However, those who cannot should devote themselves to fasting, for it is a means of suppressing sexual desire.” (Bukhari and Muslim)
However, we also find that in today’s day and age that there are many marriages that are improper or unfair and can make a person’s life miserable. These marriages are either forced or arranged against a person’s will. Islam does not support in any way a marriage where either the man or woman is unhappy with the set up.
We find that some people use their power of authority and cultural understanding (baradarism) to arrange such forced marriages and then hide behind the religion of Islam to justify their actions
Forced Marriages,
Whilst we understand the importance of love and compatibility we must also ensure the approval of both parties. However, one must also recognize that forced marriage is a problem occurring today and Islam condemns it to the highest degree. The issue of forced marriages is not one that is limited to some Muslims, but Hindus, Sikhs and other religions also acknowledge it as a problem.
As explained above, Islam regards marriage as a right of the individual and therefore others cannot make the decision for them. If a woman/man is forced in marriage then the marriage would not be valid and would therefore need to be cancelled. However, daughters and sons should also recognize the rights of their parents and come to an agreed solution before the marriage takes place.
If this does not happen then those who forced the marriage and those who allowed it are both guilty and have committed a major sin. The following incident clarifies the position of forced marriages in Islam;
Khansa Bint Khidam said “My father married me to his nephew, and I did not like this match, so I complained to the Messenger of Allah (May Allah bless him and grant him peace). He said to me “accept what your father has arranged.” I said “I do not wish to accept what my father has arranged.”
He said “then this marriage is invalid, go and marry whomever you wish.” I said “I have accepted what my father has arranged, but I wanted women to know that fathers have no right in their daughter’s matters (i.e. they have no right to force a marriage on them). (Fathul Bari Sharah Al Bukhari 9/194, Ibn Majah Kitabun Nikah 1/602)
At first, the Prophet (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) told Al Khansa to obey her father, and this is as it should be, because the concerns of fathers for the well being of their daughters is well known. But when he realized that her father wanted to force her in to marriage she did not want, he gave her the freedom to choose, and saved her from the oppression of a father who wanted to force her into an unwanted marriage.
To the Fathers to Whom Should you Give your Daughter In marriage?
A man said to Al-Hasan [Al-Basri (Rahimahullah)]:
I have a daughter and she has been sought for marriage; so to whom should I give her in marriage?
He (Al-Hasan) R.A said:
MARRY HER TO THE ONE WHO FEARS ALLAH (سبحانه وتعالى), FOR HE WILL BE KIND TO HER AND IF HE LOVES HER. AND HE WILL NOT OPPRESS HER WHEN HE IS ANGRY WITH HER.
[Kitaab Uyoonul Akhbaar. Page: 308. Vol 3-4]
You know a pious Muslim women wants to Get Married because
-Because they want their eyes to see someone special, someone halal,
knowing that he is a gift from Allah.
-Because they want someone who loves Allah and loves them too,
-Because they want somebody to share there happiness and praise
Allah with me,someone to cry with, someone to laugh with,
Someone to make Du'a with, and someone who love Allah with them.
-Because they want to have children of their own to love and care for,
-Because they want to share Allah’s beautiful creation and praise His
name with someone who Allah has fated to be with since they are born
-Because verily, with a halal partner, their life and everything they do
with their partner will be halal in the eyes of Allah completing
half their Deen.and strengthen their Relationship with Allah,
-Because they are gift from Allah to someone, and want to let him
feel Allah’s love through them,
Rabbana hab lana min azwajina wa dhurriyatina qurrata a`yunin wa’j`alna lil muttaqina imama.
May the Almighty ALLAH (سبحانه وتعالى) grant us a righteous spouses who will make us to worship ALLAH (سبحانه وتعالى) in the best manner everyday of our lives.
Allah Humma Aameen
Be My witness Oh Allah That I have conveyed the message!!!
AssalamuAlaykumWarahmatulahiWabarakatuh
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