Ruling concerning MasturbationThe pleasure need to relief himself of sexual tension may drive a young man/woman to masturbation ,
The majority of scholars consider it haram. Imam malik bases his judgment on the verse Holy Quraan,
Those who guard their sexual organs excepts with their spouses or those whom their right hands possess, for (with regard to them) they are without blame. But those who crave something beyond that are transgressors, (Q 23: 5-7)
Arguing that the masturbator is one who “crave something beyond that”
On the other hand; it is reported that Imam Ahmad Ibn Hanbal regarded same as an excretion of the body like other excrete and permitted its expulsion as bloodletting is permitted. Ibn Hazim holds the same view. However, the Hanbali jurists permit masturbation only under two conditions: first , the fear of committing fornication or adultery and second, not having the means to marry ,
We are inclined to accept the opinion of Imam Ahmad in a situation in which there is sexual excitation and danger of committing the Haram. For example , a young man has gone to study or work, there by encountering many temptations which he fears he will be unable to resist may resort to this method of reliving sexual tension provided he does not do it excessively or make it into habit.
Yet better than this is the advice prophet’s advice to the muslim youth who is unable to marry, namely , that he seeks help through frequent fasting, for fasting nurtures will –power, teaches control of desires and strengthens the fear of Allah.
(The prophet peace be upon him) said,
Young men , those of you who can support a wife should marry, for it keeps you from looking at women ( lowers your gaze) and preserves your chastity . but those who cannot should fast, for it is a means of cooling sexual passion.
Al- Halal Wal Haram Fil Islam (p.170-171
Below are the few tips on how masturbation can be avoided;
Masturbation; How You Can Stop:
Masturbation is the self-stimulation of the genitals to achieve sexual arousal and pleasure, usually to the point of orgasm (sexual climax).It is commonly done by touching, stroking or massaging the penis or clitoris until an orgasm is achieved. Some women also use stimulation of the vagina to masturbate or use “sex toys”.
Who Masturbates?
Many people are involved; masturbation is a
very common behavior in our society today, even among people who have sexual relations with a partner. In one national study 95% of males and 89% of females reported that they have masturbated, it is the first sexual act experience by most males and females.
Why do people masturbate?
In addition to feeling good as claimed by some, masturbation is used by some to relieve sexual tension that can build up over time, especially for people without partners or whose partners are not willing or available for sex. Some who want to avoid pregnancy and dangers of sexually transmitted diseases, it is also necessary when a man must give a semen sample foe infertility testing or for sperm donation. When sexual dysfunction is present in an adult, masturbation may be prescribed by a sex therapist to allow a person to experience orgasm (often in female) or to delay its arrival (often in males)
Is Masturbation Normal?
While to some it was regarded as a perversion and a sign of a mental problem, others see it as normal, healthy sexual activity that is pleasant, fulfilling, acceptable and safe. Masturbation can however be regarded as a problem when it inhibits sexual activity with a partner, is done in public, or causes significant distress to the person. It may cause distress to the person if it is done compulsively and /or interferes with daily live and activities.
Masturbation is a quickly-formed habit that can adversely affect both men and women of all ages. Despite what some might tell you, masturbation is not harmless. If you are trying to overcome masturbation, be assured that it is possible (even though like any habit it may take some work).If you are determined to do it, you will be able to. Here are some tips to help you along the way.
Determination is the first step that is where we begin. You must decide that you will end this practice, and when you make that decision, the problem will be greatly reduced at once. But it must be than a hope or a wish, more than knowing that it is good for you. It must be actually a DECISION, if you truly make up your mind, you will have the strength to resist temptations which come to you. After you have made this decision, then observe the following specific guidelines:
1. Never touch the intimate parts of your body except during normal washing and using the bathroom.
2. Avoid being alone as much as possible. Find a good company and stay in this good company, especially when you are feeling particularly weak.
3. If you are associated with other people having the same problem, YOU MUST BREAK OFF THEIR FRIENDSHIP. Never associate with other people having the same weakness, don’t suppose that two of you will quit together, you never will. You must get away from people of that kind; just being in their mist will keep your problem foremost in your mind. The problem must be taken OUT OF YOUR MIND, for that is where it really exists. Your mind must be on other and more wholesome things.
4. After you bath, don’t admire yourself in the mirror. Stay in the shower just long enough to clean yourself. Then dry off and GET OUT OF THE BATHROOM into a room where you will have some member of the family present.
5. When in bed (especially if that is where you masturbate) wear pyjamas or cloths so that you cannot easily touch yourself (and so that it would be difficult to remove those clothes. The time it takes to remove your clothing gives additional time to control your thinking and overcome the temptation).
6. If it seems overpowering while in bed, GET OUT OF BED! Go into the kitchen and make a snack or something eatable even if it is in the middle of the night, and even if you are not hungry. The purpose behind this suggestion is that you GET YOUR MIND ON SOMETHING ELSE. You are the subject of your thoughts, so to speak.
7. Never look at pornography on the internet or elsewhere. Never read about your problem (even on sites claiming to be “educational”), keep it out of your mind. Remember----“first a thought, then the act”. The thought pattern must be changed; you must not allow this problem to remain in your mind. When you accomplish that, you will soon be free of the act.
8. Put wholesome thoughts into your mind at all times. Read good books, scriptures, talks of church leaders, make a daily habit of reading at least one chapter of scripture, preferably from one of the four gospels in the New Testament. The four gospels i.e. Matthew, Mark, Luke and John, above anything else in the bible can be helpful because of the uplifting qualities.
9. Pray:
When you pray, don’t pray about this problem, for that will tend to keep it in your mind more than ever. Pray for faith, pray for understanding of the scripture, pray for members of your family who need help. Pray for your friends, BUT KEEP THE PROBLEM OUT OF YOUR MIND BY NOT MENTIONING IT EVEN IN YOUR PRAYERS. KEEP IT OUT OF YOUR MIND! The attitude of a person towards his problem has an effect on how easy it is overcome. It is essential that a firm commitment be made to control the habit. As a person understands his reasons for the behaviour, and is sensitive to the conditions or situations that may trigger a desire for the act, he develops the power to control it.
One can meet with his religious leader, and request for a program for overcoming masturbation to be implemented using some of these suggestions. Remember it is important for a regular report program be agreed on, so progress can be recognized and failures understood and eliminated. Here are some additional suggestions that have proven helpful for others who have successfully overcome masturbation:
1. Pray daily, ask for the gifts of the spirit that which will strengthen you against temptation. Pray fervently and out loud when the temptation is the strongest.
2. Exercise daily:
Exercise reduces emotional tension and depression, and is absolutely basic to the solution of this problem. Double your physical activities when you feel stress increasing.
3. When the temptation to masturbate is strong, yell STOP to those thoughts as loudly as you can in your mind and then recite a pre-chosen scripture or sing an inspirational hymn. It is important to turn your thoughts away from the selfish need to indulge.
4. If you ever give in, don’t give up: The worst thing you can do is say “oh well, I screwed up, I guess I’ll stop trying”. Simply get back on track and don’t look back, until you commit yourself to never do it again, you will always be open to temptation.
5. Change in behaviour and attitude is most easily achieved through a changed self image. Spend time everyday imagining you strong and in control, easily overcoming tempting situations.
6. Begin the work daily on a self improvement program. Relate this plan to improving your spiritual life, your relationship with your family, God and others. Strive to enhance your strengths and talents.
7. Be outgoing and friendly. Force yourself to be with others and learn to enjoy working and talking to them. Use principles of developing friendships found in books.
8. Be aware of situations that depress you or that causes you to be lonely, bored, frustrated or discouraged. These emotional states can trigger the desire to masturbate as a way of escape. Plan in advance to counter these low periods through various activities such as reading a book, visiting a friend, doing something athletic etc.
9. A careful study will indicate you have had the problem at certain times and under certain conditions. Try and recall in detail, what your particular times and conditions were. Now that you understand how it happens, try to break the pattern through counter activities.
10. In the field of Psycholotherapy, there is a very effective technique called aversion therapy. When we associate or think of something very distasteful with something which has been pleasurable, but undesirable, the distasteful thought and feeling will begin to cancel out that which is pleasurable. If you associate something very distasteful with your loss of self control, it will help you to stop the act. It sounds goofy, but it actually works!
11. During your bathroom and shower activities, leave the bathroom or shower curtain partly open, enough to keep from being totally alone, but still giving adequate privacy. Take cool, brief showers.
12. Get out of bed immediately in the morning, do not lie in bed awake, no matter what time of day it is. Get up and do something, start each day with enthusiastic activities.
13. Keep your bladder empty. Believe it or not, having a full bladder can cause you to feel sexually stimulated. As strange as it sounds, you may find that going to the bathroom often makes it easier to refrain from masturbating.
14. Always wear pyjamas at night (preferably ones that tie or are difficult to open).
15. Avoid people, situations, pictures or websites that creates sexual excitement.
16. It is sometimes helpful to have a physical object to use in overcoming masturbation. A Bible, for example held firmly in hand, even in bed at night has proven helpful in extreme cases.
17. Set up a reward system for your successes. It does not have to be big reward, a N50 note in a jar everyday you don’t masturbate. At the end of the month, you can buy something you like. If you don’t make it to the end of the month, donate the money in the jar to charity. This one works quite well.
Do not let yourself return to any past habit or attitude patterns which were part of your problem. Temptations never goes away, be calmly and confidently on guard. Keep a positive mental attitude. You can do it! The joy and strength you will feel when you do, will give your whole life a glow of satisfaction and fulfillment.
May Allah save from this act:Ameen-
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