30 Beautiful Hadiths and Quranic Verses on
The
Etiquettes of Speech !
1. “And when the foolish address them (with bad words) they reply back
with ‘Salamaa’ (peaceful words of gentleness).” (Qur’an, 25:63)
2. “If they pass by some vain speech or play, they pass by it with
dignity.” (Qur’an, 25:72)
3. “And be moderate in your pace and lower your voice; indeed, the
most disagreeable of sounds is the voice of donkeys… But of the people is he
who disputes about Allah without knowledge or guidance or an enlightening
Book.” (Qur’an, 31:19-20)
4. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ (peace be upon him) said: “He who gave up disputing while he is right, a
palace of high rank in Paradise will be built
for him. He who gave up disputing while he is a fabricator, a palace in the
center of Paradise will be built for him.” (al-Tirmidhi who declared it as hasan)
5. “There are no people who went astray after having been guided
except for indulging in disputation.” (al-Tirmidhi)
6. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ repeated three times, “Those who search deeply for confusing questions
have perished.” (Muslim)
7. “Do not dispute with your brother, ridicule him, nor promise him
and then break your promise.” (al-Tirmidhi)
8. Bilal ibn Sa’d radiAllahu `anhu (ra) said,
“If you see a disputing, arrogant, and bigoted person, bear in mind that they
are utterly lost.”
9. Luqman `alayhi assalam (as) said to his son,
“O son! Do not dispute with the knowledgeable lest they detest you.”
10. `Umar (ra) said, “Do not learn knowledge for
three things and do not leave it for three things. Do not learn it to dispute
over it, to show off with it, or to boast about it. Do not leave seeking it out
of shyness, dislike for it, or contending with ignorance in its stead.”
11. It was narrated that Abu Hanifa said to
Dawud al-Taa’i, “Why do you prefer
seclusion?” Dawud replied, “To struggle against myself to leave disputing.” Abu
Hanifah said, “Attend meetings, listen to what is said, and remain silent.”
Dawud said, “I have done so, but I have found nothing heavier than this.”
12. `A’ishah (ra) narrated that the Prophet
Muhammad ﷺ said, “The most hated person with Allah is the most
quarrelsome person.”
(al-Bukhari)
13. Ibn Qutaybah said that his disputant said to
him, “What is the matter with you?” He replied to him, “I will not dispute with
you.” The disputant then said, “Thus you have come to know that I am right.”
Ibn Qutaybah responded, “No, but I respect myself more than that.” At this the
disputant retracted and said, “And I will not claim a thing that is not my
right.”
14. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: “The one initiating abuse incurs the sin of abusing as long as the
other did not return it.” (Muslim)
15. “The believer does not curse.” (al-Tirmidhi who declared it hasan)
16. “The believer does not defame, abuse, disparage, nor vilify.” (al-Tirmidhi, sahih)
17. “Do not invoke Allah’s curse, His anger, or Hellfire.” (al-Tirmidhi who declared it hasan sahih)
18. “Men accustomed to cursing will not be intercessors or witnesses
on the Day of Resurrection.” (Muslim)
19. Abdullah ibn ‘Amr (ra) narrated, “I asked
the Messenger of Allah ﷺ about what saves me from Allah’s wrath, and he said, “Do not
become angry.” (al-Tabarani and Ibn Abdul Barr) Ibn `Umar, Ibn Mas’ud, and Abu
Darda’ (ra) relate similar conversations on their own behalf.
20. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, “He who is victorious over his passion at the time of anger is
the strongest among you. He who forgives having the power to release (his anger
and take revenge) is the most patient among you.” (a-Baihaqi in Shu’ab al-Imaan)
21. Abu Hurairah (ra) narrated, “The Messenger
of Allah ﷺ said, ‘The strong person is not he who has physical
strength but the person is strong if he can control his anger.” (al-Bukhari and Muslim)
22. `Umar ibn Abdul Aziz wrote to one of his
governors and said, “Do not punish at the time of anger. If you are angry with
any man, keep him in detention. When your anger is appeased punish him in
proportion to his crime.”
23. ‘Ali ibn Zaid mentioned, “A man of the
Quraysh spoke harshly to the Caliph `Umar Ibn ‘Abdul ‘Aziz who remained silent
for a long time and then said, “You wish that the devil rouses in me the pride
of the Caliphate and I treat you so rudely that you can take revenge tomorrow
(in the Afterlife) on me.”
24. Ibn ‘Abbas (ra) narrated, the Messenger of
Allah ﷺ said, “And when you get
angry, keep silent.” (Ahmad, Ibn Abi Dunya, al-Tabarani, and al-Bayhaqi)
25. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, “Anger is a burning coal. It burns in the heart.” (al-Tirmidhi and al-Bayhaqi)
26. “When anyone of you gets angry, let him perform ablution because
anger arises from fire.” (Abu
Dawud)
27. “Nobody swallows a more bitter pill than that of anger—seeking
the satisfaction of Allah.” (Ibn Majah)
28. `Umar (ra) said, “He who fears Allah cannot
give an outlet to his anger (by sinning). He who fears Allah cannot do what he
likes.”
29. A nomad said to the Messenger of Allah ﷺ “Advise me.” And he ﷺ said, “If a man defamed you with what he knows
about you, do not defame him with what you know about him. For the sin is
against him.” The nomad said, “I never abused any person after that.”
30. Al-Hasan (ra) said, “He that did not safeguard
his tongue did not understand his religion.”
You thought it was over didn’t you? Here is a
little something extra to encourage us not only to avoid such negative traits,
but to also proactively seek positive ones in their place.
10 Reasons to Strive for
Generosity of Spirit and Kindness in Speech
1. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, “Kind speech and feeding (the hungry) guarantee you Paradise.” (al-Tabarani)
2. “And speak nicely to people.” (Qur’an, 2:83)
3. “When you are greeted with a greeting, greet in return with what is
better than it, or (at least) return it equally.” (Qur’an, 4:86) Ibn Abbas commented on this and said, “He who
greets you return his greeting in better words even if he were a Magian.1 He
also said, “If Pharoah were to speak nicely to me, I would do so to him.”
4. Anas (ra) narrated that the Messenger of
Allah ﷺ said, “Verily there are chambers in Paradise;
their insides and outsides can be seen – for him who spoke kindly and fed (the
hungry).” (al-Tirmidhi)
5. He ﷺ also said, “A good word is also a charitable deed.” (Muslim)
6. “Ward off the Fire even if by giving half a date in charity. If
you could not afford that then utter a kind word.” (al-Bukhari and Muslim)
7. `Umar (ra) said, “Generosity is an easy
thing. It is a smiling face and kind words.”
8. Some wise men said, “Do not be stingy with a
word that does not arouse your Lord’s wrath yet it pleases your brother. It may
happen that Allah gives you the reward of those who do good works.”
9. “And let not those among you who are blessed with graces and wealth
swear not to give to their kinsmen, the poor, and those who left their homes
for Allah’s cause. Let them pardon and forgive. Do you not wish that Allah
should forgive you?”
(Qur’an, 24:22). Abu Bakr (ra) had cut off his financial support of his
relative Mustah because Mustah had participated in the slander against his
daughter `A’ishah (ra). After this verse was revealed, he resumed and even
increased the amount he gave Mustah in financial support.
10. “Show forgiveness, enjoin what is good, and turn away from the
foolish.” (Qur’an, 7:199)